Calm Down, Control your breathing
by Crankwave
Summary: Smoke tries to ignore the loud thumping in his chest - the blood roaring in his ears. [Smoke/Mute]


Smoke tries to ignore the loud thumping in his chest - the blood roaring in his ears.

Tries to play it off like nothing is wrong, but that wasn't going to work this time. It hasn't worked before, and it's definitely not going to work now.

It was getting to the point where James couldn't even be in the same room as the other without the threat of his heart jumping out of his chest.

So the Brit takes a deep breath and shifts his position on his bed for what feels like the 39th time in the last minute. Fixating his eyes back to the tablet in his hands.

The original plan was that he was going to read to keep himself busy on something else, but it fell short of what he was hoping for.

For he just kept reading the same lines over and over without even noticing. None of the words were sticking. But this time he can't blame it on the ADHD. But being too distracted over the feelings for the other SAS member that shared a room with him.

Mark didn't seemed to noticed the attention James has been giving him, like he couldn't feel his eyes fixated on him while he worked on the disrupters. He worked silently while chewing on the chewable necklace.

James eye's traced over the other's face. How relaxed his jaw was. how his mouth wrapped around the necklace, and oh god. He really shouldn't be thinking about his mouth like that and Jesus Christ he was staring again.

The Brit wonders if it is even possible for his face to get even redder.

He thinks about leaving the room to go take a shower, or perhaps go talk to Mike or Seamus. Hell he would go take a late night run if that meant he could get out of the room for a few hours, to have the chance to slow down his heart and collect his thoughts - to be able to calm down even a fraction seemed pleasant.

Cause no way in hell is he going to be able to go to bed this flustered.

'Maybe I could just kiss him-' Okay wait, time to backpedal on that one.

Yeah this hasn't been the first time he has thought about kissing him, but for some reason, this time it actually just felt tangible, like he could really do this instead of this just being a mere thought. .

Technically , there isn't anything stopping him from getting up from his bed and just going over and kissing Mark on the lips. And just and the mere thought of that his heart flutters a bit. He has wondered want it would be like to kiss him. He wonders how soft his lips must feel like and okay yeah he really was in deep.

James bites the inside of his lips and looks over to Mark one last time. Okay yeah, how bad can that go?

"No no, no James don't think about that because there is so many ways that this could go horribly wrong and you know that." The voice in the back of his head yells

It just feels like he only blinked his eyes before he found himself standing at the edge of the other Brits bed. Okay yeah bad, bad idea. Way to fucking go James!

Mark finally looks away from his disruptors to look. The chewable necklace no longer in his mouth.

James nearly screams when he lock eyes with Mark's pale grey ones. Because this is the closest thing he's actually done to act on his feelings.

It seemed like it was just a blur, a small skipped over scene and James knew what he did. He actually kissed Mark, yeah it wasn't some romantic Hollywood kiss in the rain. (Though that would be hilarious.)

Mark tries not to touch his lip where the phantom feeling lingered of something that didn't feel like it was even there in the first place.

His body is screaming at him, his skull rattles, something hot coils its way around his ribs and it feels like it's crushing him.

James doesn't know what to do, should he just wait for a reaction? Maybe he should leave the room and take a shower so he can wallow in self hatred for the stupid stunt.

"I'm sorry." He muttered, or apologize. That can work too.

It takes a moment for Mark to reply back. "Why?" He signs.

James runs a shaky hand through his short hair. "Well for kissing you that's why," He stops. "Wait, wait." He's stalling. "So, are you not mad at me?"

"No, why would I be?" He replies.

James rubs nervously at the back of his neck, okay good. Things were going a lot smoother than was originally imagined.

He takes in a shaky breath. "Thought you would be mad for me just, you know, out of the blue kissed you." He's rocking on the balls of his feet.

Mark tucks the disrupter underneath his bed and motions him to sit down. James does so. The bed dipping under the added weight.

"I wouldn't say it was out of the blue, I knew you liked me for a while, you didn't keep it subtle." That comment make James groan and bury his hands into his face.

"I thought I was doing a good job keeping it hidden." Voice muffled by his hands. That get's Mark to laugh. Making James let out another annoyed groan.

Mark rests a reassuring hand on James' shoulder, which gets him to finally look up from his hands.

"And I like you too." Mark's first spoken words this whole confrontation. Which had a lot more meaning to it, and got James to snap his head up.

"An you sure aren't just doing this to mess with me?" He feels a ping of guilt pool in his gut after saying that, but he needs to know, things like this has happened to him in the pass and he has to be 100% sure that Mark isn't doing this to mess with him.

Mark nods and James nearly tackles him onto the bed. Giving one big kiss on the lips this time. He was going to make sure he wasn't going to shy away his time - to show how he really feels.

This time James actually got to know how the others lips felt like. Surprised in how soft they were.

Mark laughs and tried to push James off. "Stop no," he says in between laughs. "You're crushing me!"

They both feel ridiculous like this, they are tactically trained and here they are confessing their feelings for one another and acting like children.

Yet it felt so nice. James' chest felt so much lighter, and the whole dread of his had lifted from his brain.

They weren't really sure when they fell asleep, but the two ended up passed out curled up next to each other. James face buried into Mark's neck.

Mike doesn't say anything as he closes the door to their room with a soft click. He will let them sleep for just a little while longer. A slight smile tugging at the corners of his lips.


End file.
